the simple life

It has finally dawned upon me that while time moves like a light train waiting for no one, I enjoy the simple life much more.

For the past few months, I think I’ve truly been at peace, taking my own pace to do whatever I like, and whenever I like. I enjoy just sitting around at home, watching my TV shows all day with the girlfriend. I also enjoy my hobbies very much, most of which do not need more than the company of 2 or 3 people. Painting, is by large a very solitary hobby, and while the number of games I’ve played don’t exactly match the number of models I paint, I think I’ve finally found something that I’ll be sticking to for the rest of my life. I don’t claim to paint well, maybe decently. But what’s more important is that it allows me to put the whole world away for a couple of hours, and actually concentrate on something. As Stella would probably say, it suits my escapist nature. The same goes for my roleplaying games.

Occasionally, Stella and I will head out for a meal, go shopping, and just walk around town. We’ve grabbed lots of books/graphic novels over the last few holidays, and that, also, is another past-time that I forgot about during my undergrad days, and am beginning to rediscover once again. It’s all these things that make me happy.

So where is all this mindless ramble leading to? Just back to the title actually, where basically I enjoy the simple life. Maybe it’s a product of getting older – all the social commitments and hooha of yesteryear are rapidly fading (or have already faded) as time goes by. It’s just too tiring to keep up. Of course, this also means that I’ve more or less stopped meeting friends that much, and unless invited, I seldom go out of my way to ask people out for a coffee or a chat anymore. Thing is, I’m not fazed by the possibility of losing friends either, so I guess that all works out. At the end of the day, one probably don’t have time for everyone around you.

As the graduation date draws near, I’m constantly worried by the thought of: what if my love for the simple life gets in the way of performance in the future? It’s an extremely disturbing and worrying thought. I need productive work to keep me alive. It is part of my very being. I’m a person that stands by the principle that one can put 100% in work, and still put 100% in other commitments (of course it might mean that I’ll have to sleep less). But what if that love for the simple life causes me to work below 100% productivity? It’ll probably burn a hole through my soul. Pardon the theatrics, but I mean every word.

I don’t know how to end this post. So I guess that’s all I have to say for now.

the end is nigh..

In hindsight, the holidays has been a good one. I got to do what I wanted to do, and I had a relatively good break as well. What worries me constantly is my compulsion to put work aside and just laze around. I HAVE work to do, and I will have responsibilities that cannot be ignored in future. Maybe I need to learn to prioritize better, that or have better discipline to get down to work when I need to.

I have barely 15 days to write one and a half chapters.

June

Man, it’s hard coming up with blogpost titles. I meant to write a little bit about what’s going on, so here it is :

Been painting quite a bit lately. Things are turning out fine, and I’ll post pictures once they are done. Most of the minis are in the ‘halfway phase’ so they’re not ready to see the light just yet. Bought some flow extender from Art Friend yesterday, and tried it out on one of the models. The effect was good, and would be a great addition to my painting repertoire.

Finally got down to arranging for a CoC game. Gonna be a 3, or maybe 2 person game, but it’ll be fun nonetheless. I’ve been telling Stella how I hope for her to experience more gaming during the holidays, so here is the chance for that.

Working a bit on the thesis too, but things are slow. Hopefully I’ll have more things to write about soon. Will keep working on it.

And finally, our steak lunch today! Nothing beats hanging out, having a nice warm steak, and just watching a movie. Now that’s what I call a great day.

Slackness abounds and other stuff

Now that the deadlines are up, I’ve been a lot less stressed, and getting a bit more sleep than usual. That’s a good thing, considering that the sleep that I get isn’t somehow plagued with weird nightmares.

Been able to catch up on some of the geeky stuff as well – Headed to Serene Centre with Stella to get some graphic novels. Checked out some of the Warhammer 40k stuff as well. Damn, their stuff are way overpriced. The night was spent watching most of Season 9 CSI while the gf was out with her friends. Been a while since I’ve sat down and just watched a whole season of anything so it was a welcome change of pace for once.

Today, it’s back to the books. And my light died at the most appropriate time. Hooray.

Musings in the rain

The rain tonight made it a lot more inviting to head down for a jog. Been trying to keep up with the exercise regieme so that I can finally get healthy again and lose a couple of inches. I think it would also prepare me for the physical strain that I will have to undergo getting around Vietnam in May.

So the next week will be the final one for class, and we’ve got 3 deadlines to meet. Bao’s essay, Kim’s squib thing, and a presentation on the final day. Once all that is over, it’ll just be the usual studying for exams and taking the exams. I think it’s reached a point where I’ve done too many exams to be nervous about it. Who knows? this might even be my last exam ever.

On a more geeky note, I’ve been thinking of miniatures gaming non stop. It’s almost become a daily obsession and I don’t know if it will go away, or if I want it to go away. Frankly for me, it’s more about painting than gaming, although I’m sure I’ll enjoy the game just as much too. While my game of choice is definitely Hordes, I do like the sight of a battalion sized army painted up, even if it stays on the shelf. Oh well. Constantly dreaming of painting a Lizardmen and an Eldar army.

facing the wave

Just submitted my draft to the supervisor. Let’s see what other things he can continue to throw at me.

Long weekend…ing

This week has felt especially long, considering that I’m trying to finish up Chapter 1 of my thesis draft, on top of the other stuff that I have to read/do. Woke up at 7ish today to read an article before heading down to school for class.

Met up with Kar in the evening for dinner and mainly because Stella needed to elicit some judgements from her. I think all of us were glad for the opportunity to just hang out for a little bit on a weekday night. More of this soon I hope.

Stella and I have been looking through Warhammer armies and talking about them. Frankly it’s my fault- I’ve been reading too many painting forums and I’m now really gain to paint up an army, even though I’ve no one to play with. I’m not really a gamestore groupie. I guess I’m not someone that makes gaming friends that easily, for the core reason, I suspect, that I am unable to put my heart and soul into gaming unlike the others. Feel kinda bad being the half-baked gamer over there. Whatever it is, it’s great having the girlfriend as a best friend, gaming buddy, and confidante all rolled (hah gaming pun!) into one.

what are weekends for if you can’t get anything done

I realise that during the weekends, my work productivity tends to reach new lows. Either I’m playing too much games and reading too many gaming sites for hours, or I end up watching too much tv with the family. The latter is not too bad, as I get to spend some time with my parents. But I’m starting to spot some sort of pattern with spending too much time at home and the quality of work I actually get done. Perhaps it’s my own fault for making my room too ’stay-in friendly’. I have boardgames, miniatures to paint, tv shows to watch, games to play. I almost forgot to mention that I actually have work to do. This becomes a great distraction more often than not, and I end up getting out a lot less, exercising a lot less, and interacting with anything except things in my room a lot less. It really doesn’t help that at a time like this, I don’t really have the time or mood to meet up with friends either, so it becomes a spiral of inactivity. It’s almost ridiculous – aren’t we supposed to have more and more things to do as we grow older since we are supposed to a) have more money b) have more friends c) have more freedom from parents d) have more time away from school? The good thing is that I still have school, and that gets me out a bit, and makes me think a little more. Tuition too helps, and so does the little meals and outings I get with the girlfriend (although we’ve been out a lot less beceause of night classes). I’m a person who has to be kept busy, and busy with different kinds of things at the same time such that I get different kinds of interactions, and mental stimulation from different sources, if not sooner or later I’ll get really bored and irritable.

One of those weekends. Hey at least I’m thinking.

Litany

I’m pushing the deadlines. Stacks of books on my table. Papers strewn all over. PSP untouched. Games unplayed. Models unpainted. I feel like a grad student. Somehow doesn’t feel too bad.

Sunday already?

Due to the fact that we worked at a music theory exam yesterday, the week has extended itself to Saturday, and today feels like what’s left of a very very long week for the both of us. Woke up from a nap aching like crazy, as if I haven’t slept for 3 days.

Gotta get down to work and press on for the remaining few weeks before the exams hit.